From This Day Forward

Traffic seemed to be very slow this warm, winter morning. The day had already begun a little different. It's December and I could care less about Christmas and what tomorrow would bring... I was focused on the hospital, the exam room and the possible answer of what I did not want to hear.

As I sat and waited in that room, the old me poured out. I refused to put that damned hospital gown on. I refused to sit on that cold table. And oh.. leave the freaking door wide open... I wanted to see the Devil coming.

I have walked the Earth about 8, 215 days, and I had been very blessed. I had many great experiences and adventures by now beyond my years. I was blessed with talents such as music and food, the ability to understand, as well as communicate. With the exception of my ongoing journey in a subculture, life was grand.

I might not have played life right, but more like Sinatra, "I did it my way." The word excess had become my middle name. Humility was never in my vocabulary, but more so arrogance was the banner I draped myself with. But now I have a man to see, a man to listen to, and I must shut my mouth, my stupid mouth.

At this very moment life had caught up with me.

This man I must listen to, was an older gentleman, a very put together fellow, with advanced medical education- that I would never forget.

I watched him walk down the hall towards me, almost in slow motion. Please remember.. I wanted to see the Devil coming, but that was my choice... alone. He did something to me to that day, that no doctor had ever done.

He stepped into the examination room and closed the door behind him.
He laid his hand on my shoulder and said, "Son, I'm so sorry."

Then with some sort of dramatic pause...
He phrased the following in a very tender, and compassionate tone,

"You have Multiple Sclerosis."